When You Miss Him and He Misses You.

Undeniably, even if I've said that long distance relationships can be fun, most of the time it is actually sad. It is really sad. It's sad because there are times when you wish your partner was there with you.

There will be times when you wish your partner could help you choose on what outfits would look good on you or help you out when you need anything. Especially when you are craving for a certain food and it's in the middle of the night or early morning! It will always be these random moments when you wish for a partner who you know would never say NO to you. (like driving for you haha.) :))

There will be times when you wish your partner could have been there especially in special occasions in your life. Birthdays?Valentines Day? Graduation Day? Anniversaries? Name it! I missed most of it. Like for us, his birthday falls on February so I couldn't come home because I have classes back in college. Valentines Day is a normal day for us that up to this day I could really say that we have NEVER celebrated Valentines Day together. That totally sucks right? That is why I always always look forward to celebrating Valentines day in the future. I've always imagined a romantic dinner date and all those cheesy stuffs. haha! Graduation Day- I missed it. He missed mine, too! haha. But of course you wished he was there with you on that day. Finally, our anniversary! Can you believe that we were just able to celebrate our anniversary together ONCE? and that was only on our seventh year! Pathetic. I can't blame you if you question me like 'why have anniversaries if you can't be or together or why enter in this useless relationship, etc.' Simple. Because in a  long distance relationship, you could always celebrate in other days. At least you have an excuse if you are out of budget or you forget to plan your anniversary date! haha. ;)


So there, when the time comes that you miss each other, hit the Skype button or call him up instead of looking for another woman/man! haha. It is like getting sick. When you are sick, you look for the right med. You just don't look for ANY med. hahaha.OMG my analogy is way too weird. HAHA.


<3

Long Distance Relationship SUCKS.

I agree and disagree. Yes, while it is true that long distance relationship sucks, it is not always that way. Long distance relationships can be totally fun! and I'm telling you why!

1.) I DON'T have to fetch or see anyone all the time!

Save the time and effort of having to see or fetch your partner everyday of your life. Yes, it sounds so sweet but it is just not practical and too hassle. (I bet guys would agree with this.) I don't know but I just think that it is boring? hahaha lol. And besides, the distance allows you to live your life the way you want it too. You can go to the mall or anywhere you want with your friends without having to bring your partner all the time. Your guy can play basketball and computer games on weekends (because there's no scheduled dates!), etc. Not so much pressure. ;)

2.) It is just EXCITING and REFRESHING.

It feels exciting when  you don't see each other all the time.:))  At least, you know that the next time you'll meet again, it will be really exciting. HAHA. Seriously! You'll have endless chats and stories to catch up for, so many things to share about your individual lives and stuffs like that. Plus, aren't you excited of how your partner would look like? Have he gained/lost weight? Is he so macho now? Does he look good? Things like this. You would even notice if he has new things! So yeah, it will totally freshen up the relationship. ;)

3.) It is a test of TRUE LOVE.

Yikes, cheesy eh? But true. Not all people are willing to be in this kind of relationship. And not all people who are in a long distance relationship could survive this kind of set-up for YEARS. So if you are in a long distance relationship for years now, congratulations! But keep in mind that being in this kind of relationship is a battle you have to fight for everyday. :p

The Hottest Issues in a Long Distance Relationship

just made fun of the title. it sounds like showbiz news.  LOL.

Okay. So now that you are away from each other, you've cried a thousand rivers, and your getting dark circles in your eyes because of sleepless nights, what's next? Well, you'll be okay. Eventually, feelings will get back to normal. Normal which means that you'll experience happiness, kilig, and once in a while- petty fights. 

I listed down the most common fights (based on my experience) in our own long distance relationship. You might be able to relate to this! ;)

1.) You have no time for me/You are not happy with me anymore./You are cold to me. Bla bla bla. HAHA.

Sometimes, being in a long distance relationship makes you insecure because you are away from him. But actually, I guess this is just a normal complaint usually by the girls. It is just a way of telling your guy that 'hey i miss you.' 

Advice: You know what guys, don't make it as an excuse that since your girl is far from you, you won't do anything sweet anymore. Sometimes, it will really really make us feel loved if you do even the simplest thing- like posting a sweet random message or whatsoever. Surprise us once in a while please! Hahaha.

2.) The people around you.

It could be your family, your colleagues, your friends, etc. The people around you can actually be an issue in your relationship. Well, just to share, my partner and I have our own circle of friends. We were not classmates to begin with, we were not neighbors and we went to different colleges.So you would not expect us to have a same group of friends. (although we share a few common friends). This poses the real challenge because you don't really know who your partner hangs out with, how they are or whatsoever. At the same time, his friends might not know you. So what happens is that there are times wherein it will make you feel that you don't exist. And there will be times that you'd feel awkward about it. and I'd like to stop before your curiosity bothers you. LOL. ;p

Advice: Once in a while, talk about your partner. You know, if you really love your partner,  you ain't afraid to show and tell the world how much you love her. It is not really about bragging about your partner, but somehow, making his/her presence felt through your stories. Your family, colleagues, or friends may not have met your partner. So might as well, introduce her even through their thoughts.In that way, your friends will REMEMBER that you have a partner even when it is not physically obvious. :)


Also, if there is anything I learned from this, it is the value of having a good support system. I really encourage you guys to have a common circle of friends where you can have people to turn to when you're fighting or what and will support your relationship by giving you sound advice. 

Getting There.

Now that you are officially in a long distance relationship, a lot of adjustments will have to be made. So many drama moments! I remember the day before the first time I left, he was driving me around the city and suddenly he just stopped the car. We both did not say anything until after a few seconds, we just cried really hard. For the first time, I saw him cry that hard. Haha. But actually, even up to now, I'd still really cry every time I leave. I hate goodbyes eh.


 So here is a poem that might express what you are feeling now. (got this through google.com)

Preparing for the Long Distance

Now if both of you are WILLING to make your relationship work in a long distance way, then you must do a lot of preparations. I know you can always google it and you'll see a lot of really good suggestions. But here is just my own short list that works for us and might work for you!


1.) TRUST. TRUST. TRUST.


Trust your partner. Trust that he will hold on to your relationship on his free will and not because he is forced to. Remember what I told you in my previous blog? It is always a choice. Perhaps the reason why some long distance relationships don't work is because in the first place, it was never their will. Perhaps they were just trapped in this kind of situation. So you can't really blame why along the way feelings get cold, they meet someone else, etc.  


Note: This is easy to say but requires a lot of conscious and subconscious effort! haha. Why so? Because along the way, your mind will doubt it. There will be a lot of suspicions. You'll constantly fight the battle between your mind and heart. So prepare. <3


2.) COMMUNICATION.

No matter what mode you choose, the most important thing is you communicate. As for us, it may sound so clingy and boring, but we text EVERYDAY. Seriously, for seven years now, we constantly text every single day! You might be thinking right now that that is a stupid idea. That I am an obsessed girlfriend or that I require my partner to report to me all the details of his whereabouts and etc. Well, that is not really the intention here. The intention is to fill that missing gap. Sometimes, when you text, chat, or call your partner, it makes him/her feel your presence. It makes him/her feel that you care. And most importantly, it keeps you updated. You don't want that the next time you meet again, you are strangers to each other, right? I tell you, it is not boring. It is not something that will choke him up as long as you do it in a subtle and creative way! Drop the text templates and boring questions. ;)

3.) MEMORIES.

Wherever you are, bring along with you good and happy memories of each other. May it be through the gifts you give, the letters you wrote, pictures, videos,music, whatsover! For me, I brought along the huge teddy bear he gave me during our anniversary, a bone pillow, lots of pictures!, videos, letters, gifts, etc! haha. My sister would never understand why I keep even the least things such as the paper bags and movie tickets! She says I'm a hoarder! But who cares? I don't really mind especially if just by looking at these little abubots it will remind you of the time that you were happy together. Perhaps setting your fun and wacky picture as your wallpaper will be a good idea. :)

4.) PRAYERS.

Pray not that your boyfriend will not fool around. Pray not that there'll be no temptations (because it is never possible). Pray not that others won't like your boyfriend. But pray that God is blessing your relationship. Pray that whoever you are in love now would be the man that God wants for you. And of course, pray that you are the woman your guy deserves too! haha. Seriously! make sure that both of you pray the same! :D

5.) SPACE.

That overused statement "I need space". I remember having a fight with my partner and telling him "I need space." And he'd tell me, "what for? is our space/distance not enough?" It made me laugh! But really. Not because you are in a relationship should mean that you must always be together or head to the same paths. Sometimes, it helps a lot when you have different interests because you can learn from each other. Always try to bring out the good of the other. Encourage each other to succeed in his/her own goals and be supportive. 


6. LOOK FORWARD.


Always have something to look forward to. Look forward to the next time you'll be together. Look forward to future trips you so long ago planned, look forward to more happy memories. Look forward to be with him again. <3

Why Go for a Long Distance Relationship?

Because long distance relationships work can be fun- only if you have no other choice. :))

I never chose (directly) to be in a long distance relationship in the first place. It's just that I chose to study in a school far away from my comfort zone- my home, family, friends, and him. That's how our long distance relationship started. I spent five years in college away from him thus hindering me to see him everyday, hug and kiss him, be with him,etc. I only get to be with him during semestral breaks, christmas breaks, and summer vacation. All these breaks were not even more than two weeks! That is why I even joke around that although we've been in a relationship for seven years, if I am to count the days that we've spent together, I doubt if it would reach more than 365 days! That's the sad part of it though.

My point: Going for a long distance relationship may not be really a willful choice. Most of the time, it is a situation you have no choice but to be in to. I don't think couples who are truly, madly, and deeply in love will consciously choose to be away from each other most of the time. It is just that there are really things that you do not or cannot control. There are just moments when you can actually relate to the lyrics 'we have the right love at the wrong time'. 

So that, as what I've said earlier, long distance relationships can be caused by the situation you are in but by all means, you have the choice to go out of that situation. Love is not a mere feeling. Love is a choice. It always is and it always will be. So before you choose to be in this kind of relationship, make sure that both of you are willing to go through it. Because I tell you, no matter how much loyalty, honesty, trust, prayers, and all the virtues in this world you put into your relationship, if either one of you is just not willing, it will NEVER work. 

Why Should You Read My Blog?

Simple. Because I have been in a long distance relationship for more than seven years now. I've got so many stories to tell, so many experiences to share, and so many tips to help you 'conquer the distance'. Well, I do not really know (we could never tell) if I can survive this til the very end but I DO pray I (we) will. What I can only do is share to you my experiences in the past and how I ALWAYS try to survive it TODAY. Let's not talk about TOMORROW since it's beyond our knowledge.  <3